How do you go from wanting to talk to someone every day to being okay with barely speaking? How do you become able to think of them without your heart aching? When will you be able to go about your day without over-analyzing everything that went wrong? When will you be able to move on? When will you be okay?

 

I wish I had a guide that would have told me exactly what steps to follow in order to get over it; a twelve step program for effectively dealing with a broken heart.

I didn’t have one of those. What I did have were hundreds of pictures that reminded me of her. I also had text messages that we had exchanged; the good ones, the bad ones, the ugly. I scrolled up through them until my fingers were numb. We didn’t speak for days. I counted. I was haunted by all the plans that we had made for the future, all of which had been unceremoniously cancelled.

For a while after she broke the silence, we avoided talking about the valid reasons why we had broken up. We were two women in love. Our history was unimportant. That was obviously short-lived.

More silence. And then awkward one-sided conversations about nothing in particular that always left me feeling worse than I had the time before.

Even more silence. I think another month went by. And then we talked “just to catch up.” It was nice. And suddenly, I wasn’t holding my breath and counting down the days until the next time we would speak.

Now, several months after the breakup, I am not weighed down by sadness or regret. I see her starting to move on, and I am happy for her.

So to answer all the questions I asked before, time is what you need. If right now you feel as if you’ll never get over your breakup, take solace in knowing that everything will hurt much less if you give it a few months.

Time is what you need for your heart to heal. Time is what you need to be okay.

 

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