Being the only lesbian around is a pretty isolating experience. Hanging out with straight or het-partnered people all the time gets exhausting after a while. Finding women who are like you helps remove that sense of isolation or that feeling of being an outsider. So here’s a list of things that I hope will help you connect with other lesbians:
1. Join Tumblr:
I know, I know, I know… your initial reaction upon hearing about Tumblr if you’ve already been on it for a while is to say that it’s the worst. And I agree with you in some ways. Tumblr is home to people with some of the worst kinds of politics. There are 14 year olds on there who spend their days telling people that they disagree with to go kill themselves, and users on the site have a tendency to spread incorrect information because no one cares enough to fact check anything, BUT Tumblr has also put me in touch with a good number of lesbians all around the world. I’ve become friends with these women, I’ve met some of them in real life. Hell, I’ve even dated one. Finding lesbians on Tumblr is easy enough. Just check the #lesbophobia tag or the #actual lesbians tag. Find them, follow them, message them. In most cases, it’ll be worth it.
2. Attend Festivals/Events That are Geared Towards Women
Word, Rock, & Sword: A Festival Exploration of Women’s Lives takes place in New York City every September. Ohio Lesbian Festival also takes place in September. Black Lesbians United holds a retreat for lesbians of African descent in Malibu every September as well. (September is a good month for lesbians!) Dinah Shore Weekend takes place in Palm Springs in April and it is essentially spring break for lesbians and bisexual women. If you enjoy partying, hanging out by the pool, and having casual hook-ups, this is the place for you. Women in Tune is a women’s music festival that takes place in Wales, UK during the month of August. Lesbians thrive in women-only spaces, so you’ll be sure to find some at any of the events listed above.
3. Dating Websites
Dating Websites such as OKCupid and Tinder offer another way to meet lesbians. Just go in knowing that you will find a lot of profiles that are made by couples (usually a man and a woman) who are “just looking for girls to have some fun with.” If you’re able to ignore that sort of thing, and spend a great deal of time searching through hundreds of profiles, you’ll probably find some cool lesbians to date or hang out with.
4. Concerts
Lesbian artists tend to draw in lots of lesbian fans. Have you ever been to a Tegan and Sara concert? It’s basically 90% lesbians. Sick of Sarah concert? Lesbians. Be Steadwell? Lesbians. Melissa Etheridge? Lesbians. Do you see where I’m going with this?
5. Lesbian Facebook Groups
The upside is that these groups exist and they cater exclusively to lesbians. The downside is that most of them are private (for good reason) and so in order to gain access, an existing member of the group has to add you. But hey, chances are that at least one of the lesbians that you will meet at a concert, a women’s event, or via Tumblr will add you to one of these groups and get you connected with a hundred more of us.
April 15, 2016 at 1:24 pm
Here’s some more info I collected on festivals/events:
London Lesbian Film Festival – London, Ontario – April 15-17, 2016
Amazon Music Festival – Fayetteville, AR – April 22-23, 2016
Virginia Women’s Music Festival – near Kent’s Store, VA – May 27-30, 2016
Women Outdoors National Gathering – southern New Hampshire – May 27-30, 2016
National Women’s Music Festival – Middleton, WI – June 30-July 3, 2016
Women in Tune Music Festival – Wales, UK – August 11-15, 2016
Women’s Red Rock Music Festival – Torrey, Utah – August 12-13, 2016
OreGaia Northwest Womyn’s Fest – near Portland, OR – August 18-21,2016
Twin Oaks Women’s Gathering – Louisa, VA – August 19-21, 2016
BoldFest – Vancouver, BC – September 1-4, 2016
Black Lesbians United Retreat – Malibu, CA – September 2-5, 2016
Cinema Systers Film Festival – Paducah, Kentucky – September 9-11, 2016
Sisterspace – Darlington, MD – September 9-11, 2016
Fabulosa – near Yosemite in California – September 13-18, 2016
Ohio Lesbian Festival – near Columbus, OH – September 16-18, 2016
Iowa Women’s Music Festival – not held every year
Word, Rock & Sword – 2016 dates not announced yet
Stargaze Festival – Barrington, NH – September 23-25, 2016
Women’s Week – Provincetown, MA – October 10-16, 2016
California Women’s Music Festival – Modesto, CA – dates unknown
April 15, 2016 at 1:31 pm
Also:
Artemis Camp – north of Los Angeles, CA – May 27-30, 2016
April 15, 2016 at 2:22 pm
If you are into feminist choral music, either to sing or to listen to, I recommend visiting Sister Singers website to see if there is a choir near where you live. You’ll hear a variety of types of music, not just classical, and you’ll often find plenty of lesbians in the choir and the audience. (On a side note, the longest running feminist choir, Anna Crusis Women’s Choir of Philadelphia, PA celebrated 40 years in 2015!)
http://www.sistersingers.net/AlphaChorusList.shtml
April 15, 2016 at 5:18 pm
Here’s three more events:
Where Womyn Gather (spiritual) – N.E. Pennsylvania – June 9-12, 2016
Savanna Moon Music Celebration (drumming) – Stockholm, WI – August 19-21, 2016
Womenfest (party) – Key West, FL – September 7-11, 2016
If you want to keep up with these and other events, a great source of information is Lesbian Connection magazine. From their website: “Lesbian Connection is the free worldwide forum of news, ideas and information for, by and about lesbians. We’ve been publishing this bimonthly magazine since 1974, and we mail issues out via snail mail in plain brown envelopes. (The word “lesbian” doesn’t appear anywhere on the outside.)
This magazine is a grassroots forum, which means it’s truly written by our readers. On our pages you’ll find info for lesbians on places to live and where to travel, lesbian B&Bs and guesthouses, websites, cruises, festivals, conferences, lesbian land and retirement communities, products (books, CDs, DVDs, etc.), campgrounds and retreats, lesbian lawyers and realtors, as well as the comic strip “Dykes to Watch Out For” and much more. There are also reviews, articles and letters dealing with whatever issues LC‘s readers are thinking about, from gay marriage to health issues, relationships and politics.
So, if you’re a lesbian and you’d like to start receiving LC, all you need to do is email us ([email protected]) your full name and complete (snail mail) mailing address and we’ll be happy to add you to our list. (By the way, our mailing list is totally confidential; we will never sell, loan or share it with anyone else.) In case you’re wondering, LC survives on the donations we receive from our readers. However, contributions are voluntary, and subscriptions really are free to all lesbians. Our goal is, quite simply, to connect the lesbian community worldwide.”
April 15, 2016 at 5:24 pm
One more comment and then I promise to let this rest! (Can you tell that I’m not feeling well and trying to distract myself in a positive way?) Depending on where you live, Meetup.com can be useful. When I moved to an unfamiliar city for a while, I was quite successful at forming much of my social life around Meetup events and the women I met there.
April 15, 2016 at 10:03 pm
Haha! The part on concerts cracked me up–definitely accurate. The last Brandi Carlile concert I went to was basically a lesbian meetup. 🙂