Being the only lesbian around is a pretty isolating experience. Hanging out with straight or het-partnered people all the time gets exhausting after a while. Finding women who are like you helps remove that sense of isolation or that feeling of being an outsider. So here’s a list of things that I hope will help you connect with other lesbians:

1. Join Tumblr:

I know, I know, I know… your initial reaction upon hearing about Tumblr if you’ve already been on it for a while is to say that it’s the worst. And I agree with you in some ways. Tumblr is home to people with some of the worst kinds of politics. There are 14 year olds on there who spend their days telling people that they disagree with to go kill themselves, and users on the site have a tendency to spread incorrect information because no one cares enough to fact check anything, BUT Tumblr has also put me in touch with a good number of lesbians all around the world. I’ve become friends with these women, I’ve met some of them in real life. Hell, I’ve even dated one. Finding lesbians on Tumblr is easy enough. Just check the #lesbophobia tag or the #actual lesbians tag. Find them, follow them, message them. In most cases, it’ll be worth it.

2. Attend Festivals/Events That are Geared Towards Women

Word, Rock, & Sword: A Festival Exploration of Women’s Lives takes place in New York City every September. Ohio Lesbian Festival also takes place in September. Black Lesbians United holds a retreat for lesbians of African descent in Malibu every September as well. (September is a good month for lesbians!) Dinah Shore Weekend takes place in Palm Springs in April and it is essentially spring break for lesbians and bisexual women. If you enjoy partying, hanging out by the pool, and having casual hook-ups, this is the place for you. Women in Tune is a women’s music festival that takes place in Wales, UK during the month of August. Lesbians thrive in women-only spaces, so you’ll be sure to find some at any of the events listed above.

3. Dating Websites

Dating Websites such as OKCupid and Tinder offer another way to meet lesbians. Just go in knowing that you will find a lot of profiles that are made by couples (usually a man and a woman) who are “just looking for girls to have some fun with.” If you’re able to ignore that sort of thing, and spend a great deal of time searching through hundreds of profiles, you’ll probably find some cool lesbians to date or hang out with.

4. Concerts

Lesbian artists tend to draw in lots of lesbian fans. Have you ever been to a Tegan and Sara concert? It’s basically 90% lesbians. Sick of Sarah concert? Lesbians. Be Steadwell? Lesbians. Melissa Etheridge? Lesbians. Do you see where I’m going with this?

5. Lesbian Facebook Groups

The upside is that these groups exist and they cater exclusively to lesbians. The downside is that most of them are private (for good reason) and so in order to gain access, an existing member of the group has to add you. But hey, chances are that at least one of the lesbians that you will  meet at a concert, a women’s event, or via Tumblr will add you to one of these groups and get you connected with a hundred more of us.