It’s that time of year again! The holigays are here and there’s one person left on your list… the very special lesbian in your life. Unsure of what to get her? Have no fear! Lesbians Over Everything is here to help out with some last minute gift ideas for your favorite ho-ho-homo. Whether you’re a well-meaning ally, an ex-flame, or a fellow flamer, here’s what to get the lesbian in your life:
If you’re a casual heterosexual acquaintance, consider:
A themed mug
Nothing says “I acknowledge your homosexuality in an inoffensive way” like a cute little themed mug. A rainbow, two interlocking Venus symbols, or a matching Hers and Hers set will work perfectly, and won’t break the bank!
If you’re her straight cousin, consider:
A cheeky sweater
Nothing says “I acknowledge your homosexuality in a slightly offensive way” like a tongue-in-cheek holiday sweater. Bonus: her girlfriend will probably wear it too.
Her girlfriend’s parents? Take a chance on:
A boardgame, but make it gay
This gift may seem simple, but it holds multiple meanings. Not only does it show acceptance of her lifestyle, it also shows a willingness to learn about her culture AND is an excuse to invite yourself over for a game! Call that a win-win.
Tinder match turned Twitter Mutual? Perhaps:
A holiday e-card with your new girlfriend on it
A picture is worth a thousand words. In this case, those words are “I am not a threat to your new girlfriend. Happy holidays!”
The worst ex still in her contacts for some reason? Really think about:
The gift of silence
Don’t text her “Happy holidays” at 1am. Don’t write on her wall. Don’t @ her. This year, get her what she really wants: your absence.
Her landlord? Go ahead and give her:
A handshake with money in it
You call her girlfriend her roommate. She lies to you about having cats. You take over 30% of her income. She smokes weed in the house. This year, give a little something back in the form of a firm handshake with some money in it.
Her girlfriend? It’s time to consider:
Maybe getting on top this time?
You want us to tell you what to get for your girlfriend this year? Oof. No can do, bud. That’s gonna have to be up to you. But what we can tell you is that she’d probably like it if you got on top this time.
We hope you enjoyed this year’s Comprehensive Lesbian Gift Guide! May it aid you in your gift giving journey this holiday season.
From all of us here at Lesbians Over Everything, have a very safe, very happy, and very gay holiday!
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