How can I find a girlfriend who shares my political views?

 

Don’t. Look for something better than that.

Look for a woman who doesn’t see life as a constant battle between good and evil (but who usually roots for the underdog).

Look for a woman who isn’t afraid to admit that sometimes she doesn’t see a clear underdog.

Look for a woman who occasionally re-examines her own views to make sure they still seem reasonable.

Look for a woman who won’t shut down opposing views just for using the “wrong” language.

Look for a woman who knows that disagreement is disagreement and that only literal violence is literal violence.

Look for a woman who would never expect you to pretend to agree with her when you secretly think she is delusional.

Look for a woman who refuses to pretend to agree with you when she secretly thinks you are delusional.

Look for a woman who would rather do the right thing than appear to do the right thing, or talk about doing the right thing, or share posts about doing the right thing on Facebook and unfriend everybody who didn’t “like” the post.

Look for a woman who is curious about the world and always challenging herself to learn more about it.

Remember that this woman does not exist.

Remember that, nevertheless, you can find this woman anywhere, in any small town, city, church, rally, or dance party. Look for her everywhere.

Look for this woman in yourself, even when it’s hard, especially when it’s hard, and when you find her, give her lots of love and encouragement.

Because here’s the thing– politics are subject to fads. The world we live in is constantly evolving, and people embrace political fads and abandon them again when they reach their goals, or fail to reach their goals, or reach their goals and realize how stupid their goals were, or obtain new information that makes their goals seem less important.

You are going to abandon some of your most cherished ideals, maybe even all of them, and you’re going to do it many, many times over the course of your life, and this is a good thing, because if you’re not growing and changing, you’re waiting for death.

There are things in life that will never ever stop being important, but the list is very short, and it includes items like, “having enough food to eat,” and “not being alone,” things that are not political views but basic human needs that you can’t get without cooperation from other people. Better surround yourself with people who are willing to cooperate with people they don’t exactly like than to surround yourself with people who always agree with you.

If you surround yourself with women whose political views are rigidly aligned with your own, you may end up with a girlfriend whose political views are rigidly aligned against yours in just a few more rotations of the Earth– and if neither one of you can see the value in opinions you don’t personally agree with, your relationship won’t last in the long term.

But if you look for women who are intellectually curious and unafraid of new ideas, you can end up with a life partner you’ll never get tired of talking to in a world that never stops turning. And what could be better than that?

Bit is not a therapist. Her qualifications include: being married to someone who disagrees with her a lot, abandoning all of her most cherished ideals many times over the course of her life, and feeling bad about all the friendships she has lost over political squabbles she no longer cares about.

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