Share a cute, funny, or embarrassing story from the time in your life when you were a newly minted lesbian.
I’d Played That Part Mistakenly
I didn’t really try anything with girls until university. The first time I had an encounter with a girl that wasn’t a “makes out while drunk” girl, I was nervous and shaky and very skittish. It was also very cold and so I was shivering so much I looked like a wreck (and she may have read this as me being reluctant and scared which is relevant to the story). She started it out asking if she could kiss me, and when we made out, it was one of the most magical experiences I’d ever had in my life. After years of doubting myself and questioning if anything I’d thought was even real, I was kissing a girl and it was A-MAZ-ING. In my mind I was thinking, “this is it, it’s real! I do like girls.” It felt like everything was clicking into place and I’d found myself. Imagine how I felt when I got a text from this girl later that night asking if I was gay. I thought I’d made myself pretty clear and I was a bit confused as to why she was even asking me. Fast-forward months later to when she is my girlfriend and I mention how funny it was that she’d asked me that.
Turns out she’d seen me leave the party that night. I had left with a straight couple that I was friends with, and I had casually held the guy’s hand on the way home because my hands were cold and I didn’t think anything of it, but my girlfriend who had a bit more experience in the dating scene saw this and was upset because she thought she’d just been played by a straight girl experimenting for the sake of her boyfriend. She considered not talking to me because she’d had this happen to her before. I was pretty embarrassed, I’d played that part mistakenly and I still think about it sometimes. We’ve been together for 15 months. To think I almost threw it all away by holding some guy’s hand.
-Anonymous, 20, Pennsylvania.
My first week of college, I clocked her coming out of a “Queer Alliance” open house as I was coming in. I kept seeing her around campus, kept noticing her. I strategically walked across front quad flaunting a shirt that read “Oklahomo,” making sure that she would notice. She did. When I saw her eating dinner alone, I gathered my courage. “Do you mind if I sit here?” I asked. She smiled nervously.
Afterwards we walked together for miles–through gardens and playgrounds, over train tracks. We talked about everything. We made our way back to campus. It was Friday night, but we both sensed that we wanted to be alone; we wanted to be sober. We skipped out on the festivities and jumped into something more intimate.
“Let me get my guitar,” she said. We found our spot on the deserted front lawn, the rest of campus glowing behind us. I admitted to her that I was homesick. “I know it’s so stereotypically gay, and you’ll laugh when I tell you, but Tegan and Sara are playing in my hometown tonight. I’m so heartbroken that I can’t be there.” “Well,” she said, “You’re in luck. I know some of their songs.”
She played for a long time, then she took me back to her dorm to make me some food. I found myself sitting with her on a tiny dorm bed, clutching a bowl of couscous that was now empty. There was a heavy silence, we weren’t touching. “Penny for your thoughts?” she asked. I knew what I was thinking, but I struggled to say it. “….You’re …very attractive…” I said. She laughed and returned the compliment. Then we fell down on the bed and kissed for a long time.
That was six years ago. She still calls me “Oklahomo.”
-Olivia, 24, Oklahoma.
The L Word
When I was still a baby dyke, I stumbled my way into a lesbian lair. It was an accident, of course, but a happy one. I got a job at an environmental non-profit, and to my surprise, many of the other staffers were lesbians. They were a few years older than me, and they were always really nice to me. I felt so lucky to have found real live lesbian friends! They taught me about lesbian things such as flannel and “u-hauling,” and they introduced me to lesbian films and music. They showed me how to say “my girlfriend” without feeling bad about it, and eventually, how to be appear confident (even when I didn’t feel like it). They talked to me about their past and current relationships, and sometimes they asked about my then-girlfriend.
One night, while we were waiting outside for a ride, one of my new lesbian friends asked, “So are you and your girlfriend saying the “L” word yet?” I thought she asked if we were seeing “The L Word” yet, and so I replied, “I think she has, but I haven’t yet. We don’t have a TV at my house.” She burst into laughter, howling about how innocent and cute and “baby dyke” I was. She clarified her question, which made a lot more sense because she already knew we didn’t have a TV at my house, and I nervously admitted my real answer. Thankfully our ride showed up shortly after, and when we got in the car I started thinking about how much I still had to learn about lesbianing. And I’ve been on that journey ever since.
-Katie, 26, Michigan.
Have a story to share? Send it over to [email protected]