Description: Readers share stories about discrimination they’ve experienced as lesbians.


Submission #1:

My experiences of everyday lesbophobia are :

  • Being told by boys and men that they can “fix” me
  • Having a friend sever all contact with me after I came out because she felt that being a lesbian was a “joke.”
  • Being constantly asked which guy I would go straight for, and who I would choose if I had to sleep with a man.
  • My friend’s friend badgering my friend for my number (after he found out I was a lesbian) because he felt that he could and would “turn me.”
  • My boss interrupting me talking with co-workers about women dating other women to say it was “sordid.”
  • My mum telling me that the right man is out there for me.
  • Being asked “can I watch” by males and being told that it’s a turn on that I am gay.
  • Men not respecting that I am a lesbian and intimidating me and not leaving me alone.
  • Being called a queer and a lezzer in school.
  • Hearing feminist women distance themselves from lesbians by saying “feminism is not about being a hairy lesbian” and other ignorant comments.

-Anonymous, 17, UK.

Submission #2:

My girlfriend and I have been through a lot of lesbophobia. The worst thing we’ve been through was when we were at the club, newly in love, a bit tipsy, and kissing each other on the dance floor. Suddenly, someone asked us to stop, and when we looked around us, there were a lot of people photographing and laughing at us. A bit ashamed, we move away and sat down. That is when a guy got up and smashed our heads together (pretty hard). People around us were still laughing. I just took her hand and we ran home as fast as we could, scared and very ashamed.

– Maja, 19, Sweden

Submission #3

This happened a while ago but I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. A year or so ago, I got into a debate with my mother about gay people. I don’t remember how or why we started debating. I only remember somewhere in the middle of it all, her declaring that  lesbians were all lying to themselves and so “didn’t really exist” and would never be happy until they “straightened out” and got with a man and had children. She said it like she was talking about some simple fact like the sky is blue. Every time I think about it, I can feel my stomach drop and my throat clench up all over again.
I really hate it, how these words have power over me, but before then, I’d really looked up to her and she’d never outright said anything hateful. So I guess that experience was just a real suckerpunch.
I don’t really talk to her about myself anymore because I’m afraid of slipping up and letting her know I’m a lesbian. I’m afraid of losing her completely.
-Anonymous, 19, Wisconsin.

Want to share some of your own experiences? Submit them to: