LOS GATOS, CA – a group of lesbians have threatened to bring legal action against Netflix after the release of the latest season of their hit reality show, Love is Blind.
The group of seven lesbians found each other on Twitter after writing a combined total of three hundred tweets, in which they shared their respective frustrations. They allege that the creators of the show have copied well-known lesbian dating conventions and thinly disguised them as an innovative new way for heterosexuals to couple up.
“Think of any lesbian couple you know,” began Kaycia Herd, spokeswoman for the group. “How did their relationship start? Odds are, they talked online – without seeing each other in person – for a short period of time. During that period, they covered topics deeper than what heterosexuals typically discuss three years into their relationships. They each decided that this was the girl they were going to marry, and then they met in person and immediately moved in together. Sound familiar?”
Netflix says that they registered the show with the United States Copyright Office years ago, before the initial season in February 2020. This answer did not satisfy Herd.
“The straight people over at Netflix thought, ‘Wouldn’t it be interesting if dating just meant talking to each other, non-stop, for about a week until you move in together?’ and all the lesbians went, ‘duh, that’s what dating is,’” Herd elaborated. “The point is, lesbians did it first.”
We talked to another member of the lesbian group, Marcy Lilam, who explained how her own personal “Love Is Blind” experience predated the show.
“I met my wife on Tumblr,” she said. “I didn’t know what she looked like when we first started talking. I didn’t know anything about her. As far as I was concerned, she was an image of Misha Collins with cat ears edited on.” Lilam pulled her wife, Courtney, closer and smiled. “But that didn’t matter. We talked about our deepest secrets and feelings before we ever met in person. We moved in together as soon as we could, and we’ve been together for six years now.”
“Shortly after we started talking ,” Lilam recalled, “Courtney posted a picture showing off a Les Mis Playbill where you could see her hand. It was the first time I had ever seen any part of her – it was exhilarating.”
Herd argues that even before the advent of internet dating, lesbians have been using the format of an intensive short-term talking period followed by eternal commitment. “There’s even a name for it, for goddess’ sake,” she went on. “The lesbian 72-hour first date.”
The lesbian group is demanding either a monetary sum of $1 billion be paid to lesbians everywhere, or a lesbian-only season of Love Is Blind be produced and aired as soon as possible.