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fake news

‘Organic Strap-On’, Really Just Cucumber and Twine

In a quiet suburb of Portland, OR, McKenzie Morris works with deft fingers, wrangling a cucumber into a twine slip knot. “My Etsy sales were faltering–nobody wants crop tops when it’s this cold out. Especially not my patented Underboob Crops…. Continue Reading →

Multimillion Dollar Company Seeks Cheap Ways to Show Support for Black Community

At a time where consumers are more likely to spend money on brands that share their values, companies have been quick to let everyone know just how “woke” they are. This week, top execs at GlitterFace, a multimillion dollar TV… Continue Reading →

Man Lauded as LGBT Ally after Yelling “That’s So Hot” at Lesbian Wedding

PORTLAND, OREGON Last week, a video of a man yelling “that’s so hot” at a lesbian wedding as the brides kissed went viral. It was shared widely on social media and received mostly positive comments. One Facebook user wrote “aww,… Continue Reading →

Straight Couple Already Planning Life of Dreary Servitude for Baby Girl

Continued from here It’s finally happened! Caitlynn and Bradley have delivered a new life into the world, and her name is MacKenzie! Little MacKenzie was delivered just one week ago at a “hefty” 8 pounds, 3 ounces! Swaddled in a… Continue Reading →

Straight Couple Overshares about their Baby-Making Process, and There’s Nothing You Can Do to Stop Them.

Local heterosexuals Caitlynn and Bradley are excited to announce that they are trying for a baby! Sources report that the happy couple have been seen galavanting around town and going on about their newfound sense of sexual freedom and evolutionary… Continue Reading →

“Lesbian Processing Day” Officially Recognized as a National Holiday

Three months ago, two lesbians from Lansing, Michigan started a petition to recognize “Lesbian Processing Day” as a national holiday. After receiving over 500,000 signatures on Whitehouse.gov, the petition was granted, and today marks the first official “Lesbian Processing Day”… Continue Reading →

Woman Makes Up Stories and Successfully Passes them Off as parts of LGBT History

A woman from Hackensack, New Jersey has come forward as the creative mind behind what used to be an anonymously-run “LGBT History” account on Twitter. Caroline Anderson created @LGBTHIS2RY as a joke in March of 2017. Her first tweet simply… Continue Reading →

Emo Lesbian Can’t Stop Writing Songs About Women She Barely Knows

Zoe Wells was sixteen the first time she wrote a song about a woman she liked. Said song was for her gym teacher, Miss Burns. Although Zoe doesn’t remember all the words, she distinctly remembers writing the following lines: “I’d… Continue Reading →

Local Woman is Left Devastated after being Mistaken for a Lesbian

Last week, 25 year old, Jessica Mowers got a $78 haircut at a “gluten-free, soul-affirming, gender-neutral” salon in Echo Park. Since then, she has been mistaken for a lesbian on two separate occasions, and these incidents have left her feeling… Continue Reading →

Lesbian Removed from Her Own Party for Being “Too Mean”

Chaos erupted at a house party in Silver Lake last Friday when Sophia Wilkinson, the owner of the house and host of the party, straight up refused to reassure her coworker’s new boyfriend that he was welcome in her home. James had… Continue Reading →

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